After reflecting, I decided a qualifying post about living in the "country" is in order. List-form seems to be a popular meme for doing such things, so here goes:
How to tell if you don't live in the country:
1. You live in the 4th largest metropolitan area in the USA.
2. You can see the 9th largest city in the USA from your area.
3. The 9th largest city in the USA has part of its city limits in your county.
4. You can go to Wal-Mart and not see anyone you know.
5. You can get to Wal-Mart in less than half an hour.
6. New schools are brick and stone.
7. The First Baptist Church is not the largest baptist church in your area.
8. Your local Ford or Chevy dealer has cars and trucks.
9. The interstate is not something you've only heard about from relatives.
10. Gas and milk prices are about the national average.
11. You have a driveway made from concrete or pavestone.
12. "Garden" refers to flowers.
13. "Dinner" ever refers to pizza delivered from a national chain.
14. Free TV is more than 3 channels.
15. You've never seen a dead cow on the road to your house.
16. You have multiple land-line options for high-speed internet.
17. Everyone in your county can get to the courthouse in 30 minutes or less.
18. A 100 million dollar bond doesn't seem that big.
19. You have more than 5 choices to get gasoline at 3 o'clock in the morning.
20. You have more than 5 choices to get anything at 3 o'clock in the morning.
21. Going out to eat means more than 2 choices available: BBQ or Chicken Fried Steak.
22. Euthanizing a dog does not involve a .22.
23. You have ever bought a cat.
24. You've ever wondered to what organization all those kids in purple jackets belong.
25. Your school district has not one, but two robotics programs.
If 5 or more apply, you don't live in the country.
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I'm trying to think of when #22 would ever apply, especially to the cost-conscious individual who owns a shovel.
ReplyDeleteUm... all 25 have always applied to me. lol
ReplyDelete